Oh my, oh my.

• 1 1/2 cups ketchup
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/4 cup cider vinegar
• 2 lbs 15% far beef
• 2 lbs ground pork
• 1 lb bacon
• 1 lb mushrooms sliced (crimini or chanterelle)
• 1 onion (diced)
• 1 bell pepper (finely diced)
• 8 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• 2 oz cheddar cheese chopped into 1/4 inch cubes
• 2 oz mozzarella cheese chopped into 1/4 inch cubes
• 4 tsp Worcestershire sauce
• 4 tsp dijon mustard
• 4 large eggs
• 1 cup milk
• 1 sleeve (usually 1 1/3 cups) crushed saltines
• 2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp pepper
• 1 tsp tabasco sauce
• 1 bunch parsley

Inspired by America’s Test Kitchen